Limericks (kinda)

[Эг-Ави]

Дисклеймер: это мемно, это виабушно, это предвзято и это на английском. В случае необходимости готова сделать подстрочник и/или пояснить неясные термины.
И да, автор до сих пор не читала AMoL.
МОАР подобного на русском: http://www.wheeloftime.ru/forum/index.php/topic,7343.0.html (ссылка в первом посте неточна, луркайте тут: http://www.wheeloftime.ru/forum/index.php/topic,5418.msg311207.html#msg311207).
Ну и, как водится, feel free to correct my mistakes)

There was a young man of Andor,
By the way, he was called Rand al'Thor.
He was the Chosen One
But sometimes called баран,
And sometimes got called even worse.


There was a young lady of Andor
Who enjoyed power and splendour.
All of a sudden, she became Amyrlin
(Just like in the predictions of Min)
But is now in torture chamber.


There was a young man of Andor,
And this man could have easily sworn:
He's not a bloody hero,
But he remembered zero
Of the (mis)adventures in the Eye of the World.


There was a woman named Nynaeve
With a couple of reasons to live:
To be Lan's beloved
And to heal the nuts –
Which she was perfect in, just believe.


There was a girl called Elayne,
And she f*cked a man not so sane.
She became pregnant
(Which is not Jordan's standard)
But kept fighting Black Ajah again.


There was a pretty tomboy;
A channeler was not her role,
Neither could she Dream, and still
For her friends Aiel
She was a Wise One, that's all.


There was a cute nice harem
That consisted of beautiful... erm...
Let's just call them tsunderes;
You are lucky, Lews Therin,
Every powerful girl is your stan.
Wait a second, you cry, but Egwene...
Stupid boy, you could date her again.
Childhood promise is magic, you know,
So does Key, and so does 0verflow.


There was a cool young Seanchan girl
Who just wanted to conquer the world;
But her Toy was tough
So he stole her and stuff
And made her craving for more.


There was a young blue-eyed beauty
Who was an arsonist, so Bryne's duty
Was to chase her and all
Across half of the world...
...well, at least she was worth it, that cutie.


There was a ruler of Mayene
And, of course, she was called Berelain.
She wanted Perrin,
But he was married,
So she stole a lover of Egwene.
(Shame on you! They had to be a pair!)


There was a young Aes Sedai
Who... nandemonai!
She became yandere
Obsessed with Lews Therin
And decided to change the sekai.


There was a wise Forsaken
Who made Lews Therin sane once again.
He enjoyed philosophy
And created a prophesy,
So he was a real true man.


There was a woman named Semirhage;
She was brave and sadistic af,
She knew how to train her Dragon
And had a wonderful ego.
She preferred wearing black
And a pair of bracelets.
Damn you, Cads. She deserved respect.